Dear Mr Trump,
I just wanted to reach out and congratulate you on your jaw-dropping appointment as President Elect of the United States of America.
I was unable to follow your campaign very closely as, well, I have a life, but please don’t infer any insult from this, I love it when people start gobbing off with no thought or concern for either their own credibility or personal safety.
I for one applaud you.
It’s inspiring in a way.
Walling off an entire country? Talking about your winky? Grabbing minges, and showing the world your Mrs-ziz’s boobies?
You have left no stone unturned in your rampage of unfiltered sentence makery, and that wig of yours?
I mean puhh-lease? Going on stage and parodying a elderly chap with a squirrel on his head? How do you come up with this stuff?
Honest sweetie, in lieu of the Real-Top-Gear squad blowing up…
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