Thursday 5th August

Oh dear, what has naughty Mr Clarkson been up to now?

I can’t speak for anyone else but the reason that I watch Top Gear is because the presenters drive dead cool cars really, really fast, take road trips across the US of A and indulge in banter that is usually refreshingly honest, irreverent and outrageous. They are also prone to blowing stuff up which, let’s face it, is pretty funny.

I also recall many episodes where a description of the vehicle that they were reviewing led to gags about the country from which it originated, a case in point is the Volkswagen but I guess that’s okay; after all we did win the war so, note to self, (and in the true spirit of double standards being better than no standards) German jokes still okey dokey.

I think with that, we get to the very heart of the matter. The PC fraternity keep changing the rules, leaving us, one and all, unsure of the correct subject matter for amusing jokes, conversations, general descriptions et cetera, et cetera. One stray move and you could, inadvertantly, stand on one of the ever changing verbal landmines and do the unthinkable; offend someone. I’m sorry to be the one to point out the obvious but politically correct just aint funny.

However, while we are on the subject of offending people, I would like to register my objection to all the kissing, snogging and general grappling that goes on in Eastenders. Some nights, with all the public displays of affection that we are forced to endure, I find it difficult to keep my dinner down. During the Patrick/Pat storyline of a few years ago I lost nearly a stone in weight. If old people, shoving their tongues down each others throats wasn’t bad enough, we are frequently subjected to ugly people doing it as well and really, after a hard day at work, not to mention a meal, nobody wants to see that.  

So, to summarise, BBC  politically incorrect jokes: good. BBC snogging: bad (unless of course they come up with the budget to attract a cameo appearance from either Russell or Brad and even then, serious consideration needs to be given to the lucky female).

On another note, I had to run into town this evening to use the cash point. While I was waiting for the lady (it’s okay to describe someone as a lady isn’t it?) in front of me to stop fart arsing around in her bag, I noticed a group of youths on the other side of the road drunkenly vomiting on the bonnet of a Honda Civic.

I was pleased to note however that they didn’t have their children with them so, no harm, no foul then.

As you were.

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2 thoughts on “Thursday 5th August

  1. well…… what can I say?
    you just get better and better.
    the clarkson et al, analogies, the honda puking/teenage mothers/fun is stirring stuff, and as for land-mines and “ladies” I nearly wet myself.
    you are even more delicious than the last delicious comment.
    long may you remain scrummy , adventuresome, and oh yeh … straight-talking.
    well done again….. love it.
    lots of….. you know what.
    Bob
    xxx

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