I don’t know if anybody noticed that I hadn’t been about lately but I haven’t. The reason being that I was offered a writing ‘gig’ that actually paid real ‘cash-money’.
Unlike most normal women, I am incapable of multi-tasking (a fact that I could demonstrate if you were ever unlucky enough to be invited round mine for a Sunday roast) and therefore found myself unable to write for fun, since I was busy pretending to be a ‘serious’ writer.
Between and betwixt this, (I use words like ‘betwixt’ quite a lot now that I’m a ‘serious’ writer) I have been dating Handsome-Rob.
I think it would be fair to say that it is slowly dawning on Handsome-Rob how disturbing it really is to be manacled to me in the girlfriend department. So far I have dropped his walky-talky-thing into a sink full of washing up, told his superior officer that I only turn my sat-nav on so that I can successfully evade speed cameras and last week, whilst attempting to prove that I could punch just as hard as David Haye, gave HR a rather nasty bruise on his left cheek.
The Teenager has remained scum-bag-mate-free and Annabelle has dumped Club Penguin in favour of Moshi Monsters.
As a result, I now have about three and a half thousand Puffles for sale if anyone wants them, she is now ‘all about’ the Moshlings.
Life is coming up roses.
Janine Butcher, eat your heart out.