Sunday 17th July

I may have to go back to calling the Pointless-Cretin by his proper moniker, Ex-Husband-Andy.

Annabelle returned from their second attempt at a camping trip together and by all accounts, she had a brilliant time.

My question is this; why did it take him seven years to figure out that if he wants to enjoy a relationship of any quality or substance with his daughter that he needs to ‘make the time to spend the time’, on his own with her?

Rain notwithstanding, they spent the weekend cosily burrowed inside a two bedroomed tent where they cooked sausages and bacon on a camping stove, boiled water in a pan and exchanged memories and stories while they thoroughly explored their ‘back-to-nature-iness’.

I wasn’t aware that my daughter was genetically akin to a badger, clearly nobody thought to screen for that during the blood test phase of my pregnancy.

What can I say, she’s my kid and I love her anyway.

Meanwhile, in another part of the house, the Teenager has been watching American Pie. In an attempt to see if he really, really could, he decided to re-enact one of the mischievous, laugh-out-loud hilarious japes he witnessed therein.

I now have to take him to the doctor to get him some antibiotics as the area has become infected.

I have reassured him however that, like the hair on his head following the scalping incident of a few months ago, it will all grow back just fine but that if he intends to give himself a ‘Brazillian’ in the future, that there are salons he can attend to have it done properly.

His response was to advise me that he would be unable to follow that advice since that, well that would be gross.

Through gritted teeth I repeat, he is my kid.

I love him anyway.

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