A normal day in the Single-Mum household generally begins with my wrestling the remote control out of Annabelle’s hands so that I can switch over to BBC1 Breakfast and ‘see what’s going on in the world’.
This morning’s ‘episode’ of UK PLC drama was presented by Charlie Stayt and Susanna Reid.
Charlie and Susanna are simply ‘Eff-Ay-Bee’.
Charlie Stayt never seems to take anything particularly seriously (high five!) and, best of all, frequently asks the guests that he is interviewing totally random questions that are usually followed by a stunned silence.
The stunned silence is often filled by either stuttering, on the part of the greatly-ness and goodly-ness that are being interviewed, or by a timely rescue (slash translation of original question) by Susanna Reid.
Susanna, on the other hand, frequently ‘forgets’ what’s coming next whereupon she dissolves into peels of giggles and waves her hands around whilst burying her head in her lap.
Until someone in the control room manages to get the pair back under control, they usually while away the unscheduled hiatus by indulging in little ‘improvs’ that do nothing at all to return the format to anything remotely ‘Gloomy-Doomy-News at Ten-ish’.
On the days that Susanna and Charlie are writing out ‘Must-learn-not-disrupt-the-entire-country-by-not-taking-the-news-seriously,’ one hundred times, Sian Williams and Bill Turnbull do the presenting.
Sian and Bill are the grown-ups.
Like most grown-up men, Bill is a lover of puns and general ‘joshliness’.
Sian, like most grown-up ‘lay-dees’ is the Queen of both simulating amusement and pretending that she ‘gets-it’. She is also the undisputed champion of managing those awkward ‘anyway……..’ moments.
Sian runs a tight-ship when it comes to keeping her particular little handful, in the form of her partner, under control but still, as a pair, they manage to keep it light, keep it accessible and keep it entertaining (in a thoroughly grown up and dignified way, that is).
As a direct result of watching the BBC Breakfast Business segment, my crush on Justin King, Managing Director of Sainsbury’s was born.
I also became aware that Michael O’Leary, despite being a poster child for greed and shameless profiteering, is also a bit of a naughty schoolboy who is quite aware that he’s taking the financial mickey (t’be sure, t’be sure) but, since he’s getting away with it, will exploit his role as a pantomime bad guy and allow the audience to shout ‘Behind you, behind you’ at Simon Jack who is in sole charge of the ‘trying-to-pin-slippery-Irish-businessmen-down-long-enough-to-get-a-straight-answer’ part of the proceedings.
I also learned this morning, courtesy of ‘So-What’s-Next-Susanna’ and ‘Cheeky-Charlie’, that Rebekah Brooks’ hair has finally been apprehended and taken in for questioning.
A police station sounds about the right place for it since, in my experience, where the scary-hair goes, the woman is bound to follow.