Wednesday 5th November – The Toad Campaign

I know I made a big deal recently about how easy going and laissez faire an attitude I present to this ever changing world of ours.

I waxed lyrical about lunchboxes and allowing people to do what they jolly well feel like doing.

But….

There is, I perhaps should have mentioned, just one glaring exception to this sanctimonious little philosophy.

Cyclists.

What is up with you people?

tsdoasm2What’s with the neon pink and orange ‘Catwoman’ costumes?

Are you doing the two-wheel equivalent of winning X Factor, with a hair-brush and the bathroom mirror by, in your mind at least, blazing to Tour De France glory at 7.55am in Wednesday morning rush hour traffic?

I am led to believe that bi-cycling can be a bit dangerous, what with all the road-tax paying vehicles that also have the cheek to be attempting to access the British road network, and logic dictates that the smallest skirmish between a half tonne car and six pieces of metal tubing perched on top of two flimsy little wheels is likely to lead to a bit of a hoo-haa.

So why, in spite of this, do cyclists behave like such total spanners?

Being smug does not provide you with a Vauxhall Astra repelling force field and the moral high ground is also subject to the Highway Code.

Weaving around in the middle of a dual carriageway (are bikes even allowed there?) shooting out of left field and riding directly over the top of mini roundabouts, ignoring traffic jams, cycling down the middle of the two lanes and smacking into my wing mirror, or worse still, banging on my window and pompously gesticulating for me to move over (yeah, good luck with that love) is just asking for trouble.

So, I am also calling for my own campaign.

It’s called the ‘Have-These-Muppets-Passed-Some-Kind-Of-Test-Campaign’.

You will be pleased to know that it has a sister campaign.

The ‘Give-Bikes-Registration-Numbers-So-That-We-Can-Report-Them-Campaign’.tsdoasm2

Seemingly, current opinion has tipped so far that now, no matter which (and how many) road laws bycyclists flout, it is automatically the car driver who is in the wrong.

What’s that about?

On that note, I’ll leave you with a little challenge; during the next week, when you’re out and about in your lovely, cosy-warm vehicles and you see some saintly cyclist ‘Toad of Toad Hauling’ it around, come back and tell me.

This campaign needs to get some legs.

Before more cyclists lose theirs.

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3 thoughts on “Wednesday 5th November – The Toad Campaign

  1. I work on the Gower peninsula in s Wales and the cyclists are even worse on country lanes. Must admit I often have the urge to give them a little push to see if they would fall off….. Xx

  2. I know I’m a bit late but these posts are always funnier the second (or third) time round. Remember the bike controversy that Clarkson and May did on Top Gear a while back?? Work harder, get a car! haaaaaaaa

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