Tuesday 22nd November – Dear Mr Trump

The secret diary of a single mum

Dear Mr Trump,

I just wanted to reach out and congratulate you on your jaw-dropping appointment as President Elect of the United States of America.

I was unable to follow your campaign very closely as, well, I have a life, but please don’t infer any insult from this, I love it when people start gobbing off with no thought or concern for either their own credibility or personal safety.

I for one applaud you.

It’s inspiring in a way.

Atta boy.

Walling off an entire country? Talking about your winky? Grabbing minges, and showing the world your Mrs-ziz’s boobies?

You have left no stone unturned in your rampage of unfiltered sentence makery, and that tsdoasm21wig of yours?

I mean puhh-lease? Going on stage and parodying a elderly chap with a squirrel on his head? How do you come up with this stuff?

Honest sweetie, in lieu of the Real-Top-Gear squad blowing up…

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